I haven't posted anything "meaningful" in eons. My love affair with this blog site ended years ago but I hang on to the Xangan thread tenaciously for some mysterious reason...

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed
for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien
addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to
your leader.'

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien
said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting.. Again,
there was no response

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his
ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do
not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to
do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump
and opened fire. There was  a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared
towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a
burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

Half an hour passed. When the young alien finally regained consciousness, he
focused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at
the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big, green
head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, smoking alien.  'He damn
near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?

The older alien leaned over , placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend
and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic
travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his
shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.

A man who just died is delivered to a local  mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black  suit.  
The  female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife  how she would like the body dressed.  She  points out that the man does look good  in the black suit he is already wearing.  
        
          
 The  widow, however, says that she always thought  her husband looked his best in blue,  and  that she wants him in a blue  suit.   
        
 She  gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't  care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'  
        
          
 The  woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a  gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit  fits him perfectly. 
        
          
 She  says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm  very satisfied. You  did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.  
How  much did you spend?'    
        
          
 To  her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.  
        
          
 'There's  no charge,' she says.  
        
          
 'No,  really, I must compensate you for  the cost of that exquisite blue  suit!'  she  says.           
          
          
 'Honestly,  ma'am,' the blonde says, it cost  nothing.  You  see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size   was  brought in  shortly after you left yesterday, and  he was wearing an attractive blue suit.  
  
I  asked his wife if she minded him going to  his grave wearing a  black suit instead, and she said it  made no difference as long as he looked nice        
          
So  I just switched the heads.'